Someone should be eating off you every day

Niles: I know I don't have your total support in this, but... how shall I put this --

Sat, 04 Jun 2011 09:20:30 +0200

Niles: I know I don't have your total support in this, but... how shall I put this --
Frasier: You don't care?
Niles: If you could work the phrase "rat's ass" into there, you'd have it.

frasiergifs: Daphne: Dr. Crane, can I ask a favour? What are...

Sat, 04 Jun 2011 09:20:21 +0200

frasiergifs:

Daphne: Dr. Crane, can I ask a favour? What are you doing for the next 10 nights because m-

Niles: *interrupts immediately* Yes… excuse me, finish the question.

Episode 6.10 - Merry Christmas, Mrs. Moskowitz

Photo

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 21:06:25 +0200

It's always so obvious when a man likes a woman.

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 20:38:09 +0200

frasiergifs:

Daphne: Hey Dr. Crane, are you here with your brother?

Niles: Ah no actually, he’s on a blind date!

Daphne: Oooh, ooh he is, isn’t he? *moves around to share the bench seat with Niles, watching Frasier* Oh look at him. I think he really fancies her. You know it’s always so obvious when a man likes a woman. You can just tell by his awkward body language, shifting in his chair…

*Niles is looking very awkward, shifting in his chair, then fidgets with what to do with his hands*

Daphne: He doesn’t know quite what to do with his hands, he’s as nervous as a hen. *still watching Frasier* Oh, for god sake STOP FIDGETING!

*Niles stops fidgeting*

Episode 6.10 - Merry Christmas, Mrs. Moskowitz

Roz: Hi, can I join you guys?Niles: Oh.Daphne: I think someone...

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 14:44:23 +0200

Roz: Hi, can I join you guys?
Niles: Oh.
Daphne: I think someone is coming on to us.
Niles: Someone just can’t leave us alone. [They giggle.]
Roz: Okay, you guys have been doing this for over two weeks. Lay off.
Niles: I thought “laying off” was exactly what you didn’t want us to do!
Daphne: [cracking up] That’s a good one.
Roz: It doesn’t even make sense. Listen, I don’t want to have a threesome with you. I never wanted to have a threesome with you, and I will not have a threesome with you! So quit bringing it up! [She leaves in a huff.]
Daphne: I think we went a little too far.
Niles: Not as far as she wanted to go. [They again begin to laugh hysterically. A bearded man in a leather jacket approaches them.]
Man: Excuse me.
Niles: Yes.
Man: I’m sorry, I couldn’t help overhearing, and as a fellow non-traditional sex enthusiast, our day will come. Here’s my card.
Niles: [taking the card between two fingers, as if it were toxic]Thank you.
Man: [as he exits] Oh, and by the way, a bunch of us get together over at the SeaTac Hyatt second Saturday of every month. And if you want to just tape your wife with another dude, that’s cool.

Frasier 10.3 - Proxy Prexy

Niles: Oh, hi Roz!Roz: Hi!Daphne: Poor thing had a bad...

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 14:42:23 +0200

Niles: Oh, hi Roz!
Roz: Hi!
Daphne: Poor thing had a bad date.
Niles: Oh, I’m sorry. Well, now that Daphne’s helping you to relax, do you want to join us in a little mélange? [Roz suddenly stiffens and has a very troubled, shocked look on her face. Daphne continues to massage her shoulders, and there is a pause.]
Roz: [weakly] What?
Daphne:You’ll love it. Niles is amazing.
Roz: Wait, what are you saying?
Daphne: Unless you have other plans.
Roz: Well, I guess not, but…
Niles: [handing her the fruit salad] Than here you go.
Roz: [relieved] Oh. Fruit salad. Oh my God, I thought you said ménage! (they all laugh)
Niles: Well, the fruits do mix a little promiscuously.
Roz: I was thinking, “Oh my God, what are they saying?”
Niles: Rest assured, we would have offered you something more than fruit salad to get you in the mood. [They continue to laugh.]
Daphne: You know what? She didn’t say no.
Niles: You’re right, she didn’t.
Roz: It was only because it was so weird, I didn’t know what to say.
Daphne: Is that why?
Niles: I think someone has a little crush on us.
Roz: You wish.
Daphne: We know what you wish. [Niles laughs.]
Roz: Okay, Okay. Let’s talk about something else. What are you guys going to do this weekend?
Niles: You, if you get your way. (Roz becomes visibly irritated.]
Daphne: So, if we had have asked you, you would have said no?
Roz: Of course I would have.
Niles: I see, and what’s wrong with us?
Daphne: Do you find us unattractive?
Niles: Well, what if we wore masks?
Daphne: Oh, they’d have to be Nixon and Frankenstein.That’s all we’ve got.
Roz: All right, you guys! Stop it! I’m sorry I didn’t understand your little code word for fruit salad.

Frasier 10.3 - Proxy Prexy

frasiergifs: Niles: mid sentence Oh! Oh- pain’s...

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 14:26:50 +0200

frasiergifs:

Niles: *mid sentence* Oh! Oh- pain’s back.

Martin: Oh not to worry! *gesturing to Daphne* She’s got more liniment.

Niles: *quickly* Pain’s gone!

Daphne: Oh come on now, don’t be brave. Let’s go in to the loo and I’ll give you a second coat. *grabs Niles’ hand who struggles back in to the bathroom*

Episode 4.10 - Liar, Liar

frasiergifs: Daphne: Alright, pull out your shirttails and lay...

Fri, 03 Jun 2011 08:21:27 +0200

frasiergifs:

Daphne: Alright, pull out your shirttails and lay face down on the sofa. I can guarantee you within a minute you’ll be feeling much better.
Niles: *lays down on the sofa* O-oooh.
Daphne: I haven’t even touched you yet.
Niles: I started without you.
Martin: Hey wait a minute, you’re not going to use that stuff on him are you? She used it on me one time and it burned like hell.
Daphne: *rubbing the cream into Niles’ back* Oh hush up old man it helped you didn’t it?
Martin: It nearly killed me!
Daphne: Oh listen to the big tough policeman. You don’t hear your son complaining, do we Dr. Crane?
Niles: Not a bit. *in bliss* Frost me like a cake!
Martin: Well just wait a minute, it goes on cool but then it turns into a blowtorch.
Daphne: Well I guess now we know who the real man in the family is don’t we.
Niles: I should say we do-oooh. *face changes in to one of surprise*
Daphne: Is it starting to warm up?
Niles: Ah, yeah… but it’s- it’s a refreshing heat like those towels they give you on the airplane. Woooooh..
Daphne: I’m not hurting you am I?
Niles: No, no, I’m just a little ticklish back there. *maniacal laugh before he bites down on the pillow*
Martin: *smirking* Well, I guess you are the tough one.
Daphne: There you go.
Martin: Oh no wait a minute Daphne you missed a big spot right there.
Niles: *hurriedly jumps up* No, that’s okay!! Because, it’s all done and - Thank you Daphne! Oh, A few minutes ago I was bent over in pain, but now, look at me I’M RUNNING!!! *races to the freezer, first dropping some frozen peas down his shirt, then grabbing a tub of ice-cream and rolling his back against it.*

Episode 4.10 - Liar, Liar

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Thu, 02 Jun 2011 20:16:23 +0200

frasiergifs: Daphne: I did my share of fibbing too. I once...

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 20:14:18 +0200

frasiergifs:

Daphne: I did my share of fibbing too. I once told me school chums I was born with a tiny embryonic twin attached to me hip. *laughs* Of course they were horrified, and it didn’t help me social life at all. *sighs* But for a while there, it was nice having a sister.

*Niles takes Daphne’s glass of champagne from her hand, passing it to Frasier, ‘cutting her off’*

Episode 4.10 - Liar, Liar

Daphne: You know, that worries me a bit.Niles: What does?Daphne:...

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 14:45:44 +0200

Daphne: You know, that worries me a bit.
Niles: What does?
Daphne: Well, I think your father’s been going to that church. I had an uncle who did the same thing. He had no interest in church his whole life. Then he started going everyday. It turns out he had some bad health news from his doctor. He didn’t even last a year.
Niles: Well, first of all, I can see you’re upset, so come here. [they hug]
Daphne: Thank you, Dr. Crane, you’re always so supportive!
Niles: And second of all, I think you’re worrying over nothing. I’ve never known my father to have so much as a hangnail without letting everyone know about it.
Daphne: That’s true. Maybe I just got myself worked up remembering my Uncle John.
Niles: Look at you, just saying his name gets you upset. Come here.
Daphne: Well, I’m fine!
Niles: No, no, you need a hug.
Daphne: Oh, all right.

Frasier 5.9 - Perspectives On Christmas

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Thu, 02 Jun 2011 13:44:49 +0200

frasiergifs: Daphne: Good morning Dr. Crane, and to you Dr....

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 12:17:35 +0200

frasiergifs:

Daphne: Good morning Dr. Crane, and to you Dr. Crane, our very own knight in shining armour.

Niles: *rolling his eyes* Oh, great.

Daphne: I want you to know that your assertiveness inspired me. For weeks now, some louse has been removing my wet clothes from the washer and leaving them on the table in a soggy mess. This morning, I decided to get my revenge, so I took off my new red panties and I popped em in with his whites.

Niles: Bravo Daphne! Good for you, god I wish I’d been there. *sigh*

Frasier: Daphne, don’t you think you were overreacting just a bit?

Daphne: Absolutely not! They were my panties and I wasn’t afraid to use em.

*Niles bites his fist*

Episode 3.17 - High Crane Drifter

Daphne: If you didn’t love each other, why did you stay...

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 07:29:07 +0200

Daphne: If you didn’t love each other, why did you stay together for forty years? Through all the fighting and the screaming and the hitting?
Harry: That was for you kids.
Daphne: I can’t believe this is really happening. I mean, maybe I’m naive, but I always thought love would save the day.
Harry: Well, you know, we all think that when we’re young. But then life beats us around a bit and you learn to dream a little smaller.
Daphne: So that’s how it goes: two people meet, they’re together for forty years, and then all of a sudden it just ends.
Harry: But it’s different for you! I mean, you’ve found the right person.
Daphne: You barely know him.
Harry: Well, all I know is, I threw him out of my pub six times and six times he marched back in and yammered me ear off, until I went back with him to America - all to make YOU happy. I never did anything like that for your mother. No no, I tell ya, Daphne, you’ve got the right one there. A good one, you know? And another thing: [rubs his fingers together] He’s worth a bob or two.
Daphne: Dad!

Frasier 9.24 - Moons Over Seattle

confidenceinrain: “He knows what wine goes with fish or pork.”

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 07:27:13 +0200

confidenceinrain:

“He knows what wine goes with fish or pork.”

Photo

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 22:56:26 +0200

fuckyeahfrasiercrane: Niles meets Cliffy…

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 22:55:00 +0200

fuckyeahfrasiercrane:

Niles meets Cliffy…

Daphne: I found this in the upstairs guest room, I hope...

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 22:34:07 +0200

Daphne: I found this in the upstairs guest room, I hope it’s alright.
Niles: I-I thought you were going to put on some of Maris’s clothes.You know, something bulky from her wool collection.
Daphne: Well yeah, I was, but she’s quite a bit smaller than me.This is all I could find that fit. Should I go look for something else?
Niles: No - yes - no… oh, you know er… No, the important thing is that it’s big enough, [strokes his hands down her arms] and warm enough, [strokes it again] and silky enough, [strokes it a third time] and… I have to make a phone call!

Frasier 1.17 - A Midwinter Nights Dream

Niles: Remember how excited we were at our first wedding?Daphne:...

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 17:58:43 +0200

Niles: Remember how excited we were at our first wedding?
Daphne: Yeah, we were both shaking.
Niles: Yeah.
Daphne: Hey, I noticed the first time you promised me your honesty and protection, but not the second time.
Niles: No, because I vowed to always be true and to be your constant champion. It’s the same thing.
Daphne: I suppose.
Niles: You liked it better the first way. [She nods.] Okay, we can go back to that.
Daphne: Thanks.
Niles: You making any changes?
Daphne: Nope, same old, same old.

Frasier 10.1 - The Ring Cycle

Niles: Here we are: the end of the driveway. Which way shall we...

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 11:58:44 +0200

Niles: Here we are: the end of the driveway. Which way shall we go?
Daphne: Well, to the right is Seattle, and to the left I guess, is Canada.
Niles: Any thoughts?
Daphne: Well, what’s left for us in Seattle? Ex-wives, an ex-fiancé… a tangled mess of bitterness and hurt feelings.
Niles: Yes, but an excellent symphony and world-class dining.
Daphne: Then there’s Canada: a fresh start, a chance for adventure.
Niles: Grizzly bears.

Frasier 8.1 - And the Dish Ran Away With the Spoon Part 1

Someone should be eating off you every day

Niles: I know I don't have your total support in this, but... how shall I put this --

frasiergifs: Daphne: Dr. Crane, can I ask a favour? What are...

Photo

It's always so obvious when a man likes a woman.

Roz: Hi, can I join you guys?Niles: Oh.Daphne: I think someone...

Niles: Oh, hi Roz!Roz: Hi!Daphne: Poor thing had a bad...

frasiergifs: Niles: *mid sentence* Oh! Oh- pain’s...

frasiergifs: Daphne: Alright, pull out your shirttails and lay...

Photo

frasiergifs: Daphne: I did my share of fibbing too. I once...

Daphne: You know, that worries me a bit.Niles: What does?Daphne:...

Photo

frasiergifs: Daphne: Good morning Dr. Crane, and to you Dr....

Daphne: If you didn’t love each other, why did you stay...

confidenceinrain: “He knows what wine goes with fish or pork.”

Photo

fuckyeahfrasiercrane: Niles meets Cliffy…

Daphne: I found this in the upstairs guest room, I hope...

Niles: Remember how excited we were at our first wedding?Daphne:...

Niles: Here we are: the end of the driveway. Which way shall we...

frasiergifs: Niles: mid sentence Oh! Oh- pain’s...